framocharm

So far all the main papers are gone... I'm only left with physics and chem paper 1.

How was it you might ask? Horrible. I have foreseen my result slip - and it's not going to be a beautiful sight. It seems like the Os have been the worst exam in my life to date. Mr. Cheng still said that 'A's will be the real killer and 'O's are just nothing much. I don't believe in what he says now. I have died at least 6 times for my paper. Maybe I'm a cat, that's why I have so many lives. But then, I do really have this ominous feeling...

Hmmm, I really wonder where I will head to next year. Poly? JC? Holidays are coming up soon and I really hope to meet up with people and hang out. It's been way to long that I've been cooped inside my house (not studying though). At least I have something to look forward too - work. Been telling my mum how excited I've been and she tells me to focus on my studies first. When your studies are screwed, that is obviously the only alternative you be seeing. I've been trying to save up money by changing my choices in food and stuff.

My way to saving a lot of money:
1. Drink coffee at KopiTiam. It's cheaper and it keeps you awake. Starbucks and The Coffee Bean don't really help. And they are expensive.
2. Eat at home.
3. Travel by public transport and not taxi (I've wasted so much money rushing to tuition via taxi it's kinda sad)
4. Stop using the air-conditioner.
5. Ask Dad to play with stocks and earn money for me. :D
6. When people own you money, remember to take it back from them.

I've bought my Raikkonen stamp but I still have not shown Jessica yet. Hmmm, maybe I should buy one more of his souvenirs since he's leaving Ferrari this year (sigh). I've been having tingling feelings on my right knee and last finger on my left hand. I think I got rashes. Must be from the old old piano books that I have. Sigh, my poor finger.

I look at you through tinted glasses. Oblivious to the cacophony of sounds that threatens to engulf your tiny frame, you look around in search for a familiar face. However, all your efforts were in vain.

Are you lost? No. Are you dead? No. Who are you?

Silence.

Who are you?

Puzzled, you scratched your head.

My dad just took my Ikea chair and went off to sit in front of his laptop. The Ikea chair was meant for the 12 years old me. But oh well, this comes to say that Ikea chairs are reliable and trustworthy. Anyway, I am observing my dad now (through my periphery vision) as he types on the computer. Suddenly, it struck me that when I was younger, I was very fascinated with computing typing, that I would stare at my dad when he does work on the computer.

Haha, now I'm amazed that I could learn how to type without positioning my fingers in a position (which they taught in primary school).

LALALA, I've finished my Chemistry TYS!

21 more days to go!

And I have not started revising yet! Bloody brilliant!

Ooo I realised my hair grows rather quickly since the beginning of the year.

All I wanted to do was to just come into the school happily (be involved in it's "nurturing environment") and graduate with a smile plastered on my face and an album full of fond memories. On the contrary, it seems like after spending 4 years in a yellow/turquoise uniform and I have not gotten what I wanted.

Thinking about it now, I realised how much I don't even listen in class? I have so much tuition that sometimes I don't need to listen. I just come in class to take examinations and tests. Not that it's a bad thing, because I still do ok in class. That's why some of my classmates don't even come for lessons, because it is simply a waste of time. I can't though because my mum don't allow. But then, my Prelims are kinda screwed so I need to go for lessons. Such contradiction. AHHHHH.

I feel like tearing everyone's hair out.

I don't have a good week ahead so stop bothering me ( I believe) . I've been way disappointed with myself because I am unable to live up to my own expectations. I hate it when people starts bothering me about things that are trivial. No one cares about your hair. There are people in Africa that are worrying about their next meal and you just worry about your vanity.

Shut up. Just shut up and walk away. Don't bother me when I work because if I could, I would have broken all the bones in your body. You better thank god that it's my two cousin that has black belts in taekwondo ( I AM SERIOUS). Hopefully I am PMS-ing now, because if so, then these surge of emotions should be understandable. If not, I should already know why.

I wished that I could cry easily, in this way, I can let everything out. But I can't because I'm not one to do so. So everyone please be grateful that you can do so.

Let me just ask you: Who isn't tired?

I have not updated this blog in a long long time! Well, I guess this is the result of Twitter, where you just do micro-blogging all day long that you simply just despise writing long posts on one's blog. HAHA, probably I will only update my blog once a month or so to let everyone know that this thing is still in my life.

Anyway, for the past 2 weeks or so, it has been hectic and crazy, many horrible things happened (which I clearly remember) and good things too (which I just can't recall, really). So let's start with the horrible things.

1. Situated blatantly in front of me is the tablet PC (who had by the way turned three years old on teachers' day 8D), and it has a cracked screen. My screen looks like a spider web ): Well, I wanted to print out my lit document for lesson that day and then I held my tablet on the screen to bring it to the master bedroom (where the printer is located) and WOOHOOOOO~~ the screen cracked. At the same time, my heart broke. Then again, it is not the end of the world so I am going to send it for repair soon.
2. On the same day, I killed a snail by stepping it on the shell. I felt rather bad, considering that I am not blind and I know where I am going.
So R.I.P. snail, please forgive me.
3. I got the news today that I missed my piano practical exam. Why? Because of my irresponsible piano teacher that migrated to US and did not inform any of her students on the exam date. Supposedly my exam date was on 3 Sept, and apparently all 3 of her students (that includes me) did not attend and the examiner had to email her to ask why. Then finally she replied. And since I did not practice on my pieces for 3-4 months, I choose not to take the exam which costs 350-400 dollars. The really hurting thing is that she has been my piano teacher even since I was primary 3/4, and my mum and I had grown to trust her to carry out her responsibilities well. Moreover, she has a family. Haiz, hopefully I won't meet this type of people again.
4. Prelims. Did I study hard enough this time? No. I know my E. Geog and Amaths Paper 1 are goners, because I have no confidence in these papers. I did not study hard enough nor did I practice enough for these 2 papers. So yeah, it's goodbye. Considering the level of difficulty of the Prelims, I think I will hit 20 plus this time. Aiya, way over my target. That's why I need to spend this September Holidays studying.
5. Art. My batik looks so brown because everything is turning out to be brown. I hate it but then it has so many layers. Haizzz. I hope Ms. Goh doesn't read this or she will kill me since I made the colour choices. ):

Ah whatever I'm too lazy to type. Goodbye.

Kama and I are going to jail at 60 after we bash each other up! :D

I can't even skip school decently. Wow, sometimes I wonder if the good kid policy have really gone way into my system that it is impossible to flush it out anymore.

For all you know, I am a horrible actress.

Oh my I have not posted on LJ for at least 14 days! That is a really long time! Even though I do view my friends page every day.

Btw, I have been having too much fun on twitter. It's a really sociable and lively website to talk to your friends. And it doesn't lag as badly as facebook. Anyway, I have not been studying much because I have spent too much time on the computer reading fanfiction (yes, because I will sleep when I read books) and also just simply surfing the internet.

Last week was National Day Celebration, a day where the whole school comes together in the hall to sing national day songs and relieve our memories of Singapore past and present and how the a sense of patroism is so important. Well, the band performed and I dare say that I was a tad disappointed, even Keziah agreed. (Anyone of you reading this please remember to project!) I didn't think that it was their best performance, but nonetheless it was not bad! So after the concert, I went off to Kinokuniya to buy books and SURPRISELY THEY WERE HAVING A 20% STOREWIDE SALE! I was grinning to myself like an idiot as I queued to pay for my books. Dorian Gray and Dracula. Originally total sum was 35 dollars plus, but then it got discounted to about 25 dollars plus. What a great bargain! Yes and G.I.Joe movie at night with free popcorn and tickets. The movie was mind-blowing but the storyline was pretty weak. Anyway, I had a blast with Tingwai, Chyihui, Shermin, Nazreen and Loi. Thanks you guys!

So then I spent my weekend away doing nothing much except to read more fanfiction and stuff. Waste of time, considering that Prelims is only two weeks away from today. (sigh) I am aiming for L1R5: 10 with at least 4 A1s this time, so I can continue to get my GOOD PROGRESS AWARD. (Teehee, it pays to do badly for common tests). Yes, and if I'm good enough, my results can kick someone's arse. Yes I can Yes I can! And why do I want to do so? My cousin who is doing his As this year is working very hard, my neighbour too (I saw all her work sprawled all over the living room table while she studied). My little cousin who is in P6 is working hard to get into Crescent! (she freaked/laughed hysterically when I showed her the facebook and introduced some of the school committee members *ahem ahem*)

And this week Kama and I has set up the *drum roll* Kama and CX productions! Teehee, we have been helping Ms. Jeya write all the oral notes on the whiteboard. It was pure fun to work with her since both of us are equally spontaneous. (TEEHEEEEE) Physics tuition this week was not fruitful at all, because this male old teacher had to replace the current physics teacher (because she could not make it for tuition) and he was SO BLOODY BORING. Adding to that, everyone was dead tired and yunling was not present to entertain me. Sigh.

Chinese O level results are being released on wednesday! I am so excited/worried! I really want to get my A1 because I have been having chinese tuition even since primary 2! (Yes, it was first with my next door neighbour who was a retired teacher, but then she went a little eccentric [ I am putting it nicely] because she started sounds from above every night and then). Yeah, my first ever tuition subject was chinese. I NEED MY A1 ARGHHH, I really hope my sihan doesn't do much harm to my results overall. ): Yes, I will get it. If I don't I will moan and weep and cry and all of you reading this post will cheer me up no matter what. Yes. You. Will. Even if I start becoming violent. And secondly, I don't want to go my way and beg Mr. Zhu to tutor me again so I can take the exam again and score my A1.

Today, had a buffet with my cousin and their family to celebrate my aunt's 56th birthday. (Yes she is old but my dad is older) This aunt of mine is the one that always pamper my brother and shower him with a lot of love and care that I really appreciate. Buffet at Furama Riverside was pretty fulfilling, I tried everything (except the fresh cooked prawns because I don't really like prawns). Had a great chat with my two cousins (as mentioned earlier if you even bothered to read this post) and I realised that after my cousins come out of the army, I would actually be entering university in the same year as him. Darn it. But anyway I had a chat with my parents on what I was going to do after the O Levels examination has finished and they agreed that I should find a job to pass my time and at the same time learn something new. (Starbucks is a no-no). Experience.

But then my mum said that she may come up with a least of things she want me to learn this holiday, for example cooking, washing. Maybe she just wants me to accompany her and talk to her. I would really wish to do so, considering she had so many interesting things from her childhood. (HAHAHA WILD PIGS!) How I wish I have cousins all around the world, so I can visit them. Hopefully I can also go shopping as well and find more cheap bargains because I realised that my wardrobe is seriously lacking in clothes that I like and can wear. ( I EAT TOO MUCH THAT I GROW FATTER AND FATTER)

P.S. Wishing all August baby Happy Birthday! I try to make an interesting card for each and every one of you, so you can remember me when you leave Crescent. I am going to miss all you good friends! (especially those that may fly overseas!!!)

Follow me on Twitter! I only update in the evening though because most of my twitter friends are sitting around me in class. Go get one! It's addictive and stupid/whatever crap, but still!

School today was so-so, boring as usual and pointless all the way. Mr. Loh flared up during Amaths lesson today, so I didn't dare to fall asleep. Artrillian got a fever in the middle of the morning and a few others (okay 5 of them) were absent in school. Zhuang Hua and Lisa better come tomorrow. I really am in need for a food supplier and a alarm clock/violent thrasher/injured fellow. Still own Chyi Hui "praise" card. I wonder what her father would respond to the new card. Raikkonen is going for the WRC and I really hope he will stay safe. I don't want to see another Ferrari member getting injured.

Thank goodness reports are saying that Massa is definitely recovering well from the treatment, even though the full extent of his eye injury is not known. Massa's doctor has reported that he would be able to be dismissed from the hospital in a week and his personal doctor had reported that "His left eye has no problem, his eyesight is okay". I'm really really glad to hear that.
( To A Friend That I Care Alot For )

I go home and hug my mum everyday.

Sometimes when I see people sad/angry/frustrated/stressed, I really want to cheer them up. Sincerely. Because I know you only live in this world once. If you going to spend all your bloody time being depressed/upset/what the crap, then you might as well give your life to those who wants to live it but does not have the chance to do so.

I try to appreciate what everyone is doing for me, that's why I started making cards for people. It's bloody tedious, yes, but it makes me happy and the other person happy.

At times of crisis, people think that only certain people truly care for them. Pity.

Was it something that you did to others that caused them to feel unconcerned towards you? Was it because you did not allow any  people in to comfort you?

I used to phrase my thoughts that way in the past before I realised that I was so self-centered and ignorant to others. When I am sad, people feel it too. When I am angry, people around me feel it too. Emotions are often easily written all over a person's face, (Unless you have a poker face, but otherwise this theory is pretty true) and can easily affect people.

I know it's not good to keep it bottled in your heart, but letting it all out throughout the day is not going to do you or others any good. I talk to my mum about things in school, so I can keep myself in check with my mental health. I try to be optimistic and look at the cup of water half full. Sometimes I get f ridiculous and bloody annoying, but at least I'm not making anyone feel miserable.

Life is not perfect. It's just how you are going to mould it to fit you. I do that, and I am not regretting any second of my life.

I am seriously fearful that I won't be able to finish art on time. My final piece is only 10% "done", and my prep is only about 40% done. My artist's reference is so little that the numbers can be insignificant, while my development is basically nil. 6 more weeks till I have to stop my work. I need to start mugging/doing work. I want my A1 badly.

Gotten back the mid-year results, well I have marks in every possible grade. A1, A2, B3, B4, C5, C6. I can't say that I am pleased with my marks, but at least my L1R5 was a great improvement from my common tests result. This shows that when one studies early, they can definitely do much better. Today I was in a foul mood because of a certain someone (of which I don't want to mention). But whatever, I'm not going to care about her. I have my own life to bother.

Anyway, I guess the week has already started bad enough since the Germany Grand Prix. Raikkonen did not finish the race. Then the results. I still have not told my parents about it yet. My mum responded with my maths result saying that "Huh? __ only?? And why Amaths __ only? Who scored the highest? How come so low?"

Bloody hell. And my brother just came into my room to annoy me with his "fragrant" mouth (durian-smelling). I told him to f off. He told me not to use vulgarities. Look at who is talking.

I will:
Get 5 A1s for my Prelims. (Specifically, Emaths, Amaths, Physics, Art, Combined Humanities)

I am so unfit. After today's P.E., my leg muscles are aching very badly.
( Top 10 Prettiest On-Screen Females )

I consider myself a hypocrite in front of certain people. Definitely.

But guess what I found out over these past two weeks after grandpa fell ill?

It had always been in my genes.

Today has became the most eventful day of the year for me.

Mark the calendar gal! It's July the fifth!

Let's start with some interesting things that happened today:
( July The Fifth )
Grandpa coming to Singapore to stay tmr! *GRINS*

Credits to Wikipedia.